As a human being in 2025, and having come of age in the onset of the social media boom, I’ve had a social media account since I was 14 starting with Myspace. Remember Myspace? Kids these days will never understand how fucking cutthroat we used to be. We organized our friends from number 1 to number 10 (or was it 8?). And then there was Facebook that was for college kids first, and then Instagram, Twitter, etc.

As I found my partner in life and we had our kids, like most of us I think, the people I started to follow on these platforms started to shift. I followed mom accounts, how to help babies sleep, how to handle a toddler and their tantrums, how to introduce solids (my least favorite stage), gentle parenting, not-so-gentle parenting…..it could go on and on. And then, to make it even worse, you had the multiple accounts where there’s a specific type of mom.

There’s a super fit mom who pisses you off at how good she looks in her $100 leggings and lash and hair extentions.

A mom who lost 100 lbs and became a fitness guru.

A mom who’s husband makes (I’m assuming multiple figures) because she can stay at home while at the same time go the gym, go out with friends, go on vacation, afford a nanny, afford a maid, etc. and has a random fucking side business selling flowers.

A mom who decided that she needed and wanted to stay home with her kids instead of sending them to daycare and can live off of her partner’s salary in the meantime (lucky bitch).

A mom who is a homesteader and homeschooling her children while the husband makes enough to support them.

A mom who says that any woman who decides to have kids and send them to daycare is rejecting her identity and should embrace what a woman was created for. Her husband also makes enough to support them.

A mom who values her career and has no problem returning to work to help provide for her family.

I’ve seen all of these accounts and you know what they all had in common? I honestly couldn’t relate to any of them. They also made me feel guilty in both directions. I was a horrible woman and mother for sending my kids to someone else to watch them OR I was dumb, selling myself short and should want more for myself than JUST being a stay at home mom.

But what about the other mom? What about the woman who is forced to return to work after 12 weeks? What about the family who needs both people to bring in income and daycare is still a little less than what the mom would bring in? What about her? Maybe she is happy to be returning to work but maybe she is crying as she drives away from her 4 month old in the hands of someone else. She’s not lazy or weak or stupid. She doesn’t need to “find Jesus” or re-evaluate her life choices. She lives in a world, an expensive world, where not everyone is lucky enough to make the choice that they might want.

It’s agonizing, belittling, unsettling and lonely being a mom right now.

That’s what inspired this post and frankly this blog. I never found a space or a person that I could relate to completely.

I’ve gone from career focused and sending my kid to daycare fulltime, to being at a crossroads with my second born and not being able to afford/find a daycare for them, to running a daycare out of my home. I’m not extreme in either direction when it comes to motherhood or womanhood.

I care about my body by taking vitamins and drinking water, but I don’t follow a workout routine. I will eat chicken and veggies for dinner one night and some top ramen the next. I worked hard for my career and took pride in my work, yet I gave it up to be with my kids. I cannot afford to NOT WORK, therefore I opened a home daycare in order to make ends meet. I enjoy gardening and working outside, but I don’t wear a stupid sundress to do it. We have chickens and ducks but my coop isn’t cute and I collect the eggs in an old bowl or my shirt most of the time. I’m a hodgepodge mom, a little of everything mom, a middle mom.